And One More Thing Before You Sit Down for Dinner…

Our family, in our silly poses, Thanksgiving 2022

I have always loved gathering family and friends for the Thanksgiving holiday.  For as long as I can remember, our celebrations have been a wonderfully spirited time filled with reunions, laughter, and animated discussions about everything—politics included. The bigger and less formal, the better. And, of course, my mother’s amazing dinner rolls are always a highlight—fingers crossed she’ll make them this year.

As we gather around our tables this Thanksgiving, let’s take a moment to reflect—not just on the delicious food and lively conversations, but on the youngest members of our families. The world is loud right now, and kids are listening. They’re forming opinions about leadership, communication, and how we treat one another. The way we show up today will help shape how they navigate the world tomorrow.

I’m sure your families are already filled with parents who are having these important conversations with their kids. But trust me, it is always helpful when aunties, uncles, and big cousins reinforce these positive messages. Supporting kids in building empathy, curiosity, and resilience is a team effort—and family gatherings provide a perfect opportunity.

Here are a few ways we can connect with and uplift the next generation this holiday season:

1. Start Honest, Open Conversations

Kids often understand more than we think, but they need help making sense of it all. Asking kids how they feel about what they’ve heard or seen—whether it’s news, schoolyard conversations, or family discussions—gives them a safe space to process.

Family gatherings are a great opportunity to ask questions like, “What’s something you’ve been curious about lately?” or “What’s one thing you’d change in the world if you could?” Aunties, uncles, and cousins: this one’s for you.

2. Show Them How to Disagree Respectfully

The last few years have shown us how disagreements can spiral into division. But conflict doesn’t have to mean hostility. Teaching kids respectful communication builds their ability to navigate tough conversations constructively.

This year, make a particular effort to model these skills at home. If a heated debate arises among adults, pause and show how to navigate disagreement respectfully. Phrases like, “I see your point, but I feel differently,” can go a long way.

3. Focus on Empathy and Gratitude

Empathy is one of the greatest gifts we can give our kids, and it’s something we can actively nurture. Asking kids to reflect on the feelings of others helps them build deeper connections and understanding.

In our family, we often go around the room and ask everyone to share something they’re grateful for—a tradition that we could all do more than once a year! Consider adding to this practice by sharing stories of kindness or asking kids, “What’s something nice someone did for you this week?” These reflections help reinforce the importance of empathy.

4. Encourage Curiosity Over Judgment

Kids naturally ask “why” and “how,” but societal pressures can sometimes turn that curiosity into judgment. By encouraging questions instead of quick conclusions, we can help them approach the world with an open mind.

If a child makes a bold or judgmental statement, respond with, “That’s interesting—what makes you think that?” or “How could we learn more about this?” It’s a simple way to turn judgment into exploration.

5. Teach Media Literacy

With kids spending an average of 7+ hours a day on screens, they’re bombarded with information—some of it misleading. Teaching them to question sources and think critically about media helps them build a solid foundation for informed decision-making.

Ask kids about something they’ve seen online recently. Then, together, look up the source and discuss its reliability. It’s a small step that can spark lifelong habits.

6. Highlight the Power of Community

At its best, Thanksgiving reminds us of the value of coming together. Kids thrive when they feel connected to something larger than themselves. Engaging in acts of kindness or service reinforces the idea that they can make a difference.

Consider volunteering together as a family over the holiday weekend—whether it’s delivering meals, donating to a local cause, or helping at a food bank. These actions show that small efforts can create big change.

7. Reassure Them That It’s Okay to Feel

Let kids know that it’s okay to feel confused, scared, or even angry. Validating their emotions builds resilience and emotional intelligence.

Take a moment to share something you’ve struggled with this year, and how you’ve worked through it. Letting kids see that it’s okay to not have all the answers models vulnerability and strength.

8. Share Family Stories and Document Histories

Family gatherings are an ideal time to pass down stories about triumphs, challenges, and contributions made by relatives. Kids need to hear these narratives—they’re a source of inspiration and identity.

In a time when we are inundated with information, I fear we are losing something invaluable: our family narratives and community histories. Beyond the battles over book bans and curriculum wars, we are failing to preserve and pass down the stories of family members who triumphed, achieved success, or made meaningful contributions to the world.

Take this opportunity to tell younger family members about their roots. Share stories about ancestors who overcame obstacles, achieved great things, or contributed to the community. Encourage kids to document these tales—even if it’s just recording conversations on their phones. Revisiting our history, accurately and intimately, can spark pride and resilience for the future.

We are all carrying many emotions right now, but so are our kids. This Thanksgiving, let’s make sure we’re not just checking on the turkey or the stuffing—we’re checking on them, too.

Happy Holidays!

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